It is a hard pill to swallow, but the truth is going to help you to heal a lot faster rather than letting your heart break over and over until you finally address what you knew all along.
If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you and only you. There would be no questions or doubts in your mind.
1. A million different scenarios…
It is easier when he is selfish, thinking only of himself, using you, treating you poorly, crushing you with his actions, making you jealous and so on.
However, it can be a lot more difficult to detach yourself when he is an actual good guy, but you know you still have to let him go.
He will tell you that you are a great person and he likes you a lot, but he doesn’t feel the same way about you or that you are the one.
Men like to communicate that they are confused and are not sure how they want to proceed. They need time to think about what they want.
You need to realize that this is just another way for them telling you no, even though they may not even realize that this is what this means.
If he wanted to be with you, he would feel it in the pit of his stomach, his heart and brain. He would not have to make up his mind in the first place.
2. Time to move on…
It doesn’t matter if he is a jerk or the nicest guy in the world, this is about you and how it is time to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart and move on.
No matter what the situation was, how much fun you had or how well you got along in the beginning, he just doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you.
Even though you know this in your heart and gut, your mind is constantly trying to soften the blow by repeating it over and over in your thoughts: he just needs time or space; he’s afraid to commit or settle down; I need to reassure him and tear down the walls he’s built by showing him I am the one.
This is the hard truth that has to be faced, as ugly as it is, and realizing it now will help you to move on. It is going to be your anchor for the next few weeks or even months, no matter how much you avoid facing the facts.
Reminding yourself of this will help you come to peace with the ending or no longer talking after you spend each day texting, making plans or planning a future together.
3. But you love him so much…
Go over in your mind how you feel about him; it is so natural and easy to love him. You don’t need to question it, and there are no doubts in your mind.
Everything feels right, and you just know that you are meant to be with him. Deciding to go all in, and placing all your fears and heartbreaks in the past, your heart and intuition have already made up your mind—you wanted to be with him, so you took the risk.
It felt so natural to you that it was barely even a decision at all. Imagine feeling that way, but choosing not to be with him anyway and forgetting he exists.
This is why your heart is broken: he did not feel those intense feelings, but you did. You can’t change him or blame yourself—you did nothing wrong.
He is in a different place to you, and all you can do is accept it, maintain a calm and confident vibe and peacefully say goodbye.
It may take weeks, months or even longer for you to get over this. Some days will hurt more than others will.
The decision is up to you: you can either let your heart break once and begin the healing process, or let it break over and over again by convincing yourself that he will come around and realize that you are the one. Love yourself enough to realize how much better you deserve.